leaving a place i loved and trust for answers...

My heart was broken as the doctors at NICU at Mercy, the hospital i loved and trust, told us they had no answers for us, they didn't know what was causing this high breathing, or the Mild Hypotonia... so we did what we were told to transferred to Children's Hospital, they had the specialist i needed... I'm still holding my breath under water, as my other children are falling apart, everyday i watched my middle child cried to sleep because she didn't understand why her brother wasn't home, my oldest show signs of mild depression and was falling behind in school, and my youngest totally went crazy acting up, the never ending phone calls, and messages.... somehow i needed to give answers to everyone when i had no idea or the doctors knew what is going on with my baby.... and off he went baby lorenzo 2 weeks old at the time, to a brand new hospital... All i remember is sitting in an empty hall, holding my baby's blanket for 3 hours and waiting... waiting... waiting...